A Christian CEO’s Approach to Handling Conflict

“The best time to fire someone is the first time you think about it.”

It seemed like good advice when I heard it years ago, and I followed it for a while. I mean, it could sure save a lot of time and expense, right?

However, I have realized there is a better way to go about it for Christian leaders. This is especially true when it comes to handling conflict between team members.

God’s Word says it’s good when we’re unified (Psalm 133:1). This means our combined efforts take precedence over personal opinions and preferences. We’re only successful when we lay our personal agendas aside and work for the good of others and our corporate vision and mission. People don’t have to be best friends, but we all have to be unified in our goals.

In difficult situations and conflict resolution, I try to make sure I’m leading strong in three areas:
- Love
- Justice
- Righteousness

Leading with love
Leading with love doesn’t mean being soft. God is our best example of love, and He doesn’t always let us get our way or behave any way we like. Sometimes, honest and direct communication is the most loving thing we can do. While it’s not always what we want to do, sometimes termination or role adjustments are the best way to show love.

We have to understand where people are coming from. We need to walk in their shoes and try to gain their perspective. This way, we can begin to see the motivations behind their actions.

Years ago, I noticed that two of our high-level leaders weren’t getting along. One had been with our company for years, while the other was newer. Their departments should have collaborated and made each other better, but personalities and egos were getting in the way.

I met with the leaders, and I gave them an assignment: they each had to spend one day a week together. They would rotate spending time in each other’s departments. Every time an issue would come up that was caused by the other department, the leader was to explain to their counterpart how these decisions impacted them. They had to work toward understanding the other’s perspective.

Leading with justice
At the end of the 30 days, I met with the leaders again. Unfortunately, they hadn’t made a lot of progress. I had worked with one of these leaders for years, and although my trust level was high, so were my expectations. As a veteran of our company, I expected him to know our culture and be willing to lay aside personal opinions and help others learn it. This newer leader hadn’t been with our company nearly as long, so my expectations weren’t as high. There is grace in a new learning environment.

In other words, the responsibility was on the veteran to show patience and compassion for the new guy.

Ultimately, I explained that if they didn’t work it out and I needed to fire someone, I was leaning towards firing them both. We must be just in our decision-making, and, in this case, it meant the consequences would be the same for both employees.

Leading with righteousness
I’ve had people ask me if I have trouble sleeping when I’m dealing with situations like this one. The answer is no. I know if I am leading with love and justice, I am also leading with righteousness or in right standing with God.

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
Matthew 18:15-17 NIV

This scripture gives a clear workflow to resolving conflict. While our businesses are not the church, we should encourage our employees to work out their differences. Mediation may be necessary – that’s what leaders and HR departments are for. However, we might have to let people go for the sake of our teams and their own personal growth.

Sometimes I wonder how things would’ve turned out if I had continued to follow the advice to fire someone the first time I thought about it. What kind of environment would that create?

Have you ever thought about whether it’s better to be trusted or feared? As for me, I’d rather steward an environment of trust.